Trying out some dialogue

I kinda managed to make 2 conversations with dialogue's based on how the story kinda looks so far. Hope you'll like them.


First introduction where MC just landed and is at his new place


"Hello, my name is MC. I just recently moved to Japan and so i'm a transfer student, there's not really alot to talk over myself, i'm just a typical average guy, i'm not strong but not weak either, i'm not ugly but i wouldn't call myself handsome, i normally make a few friends and i'm pretty much invisible to girls, either way going to another country is quite a step, i've heard some weird things about Japan, it tends to have people with weird personalities and seems to have a really disturbing culture, but i'll ju..."

Liam: Well hows it going new guy

MC: Holy who the fuck are you <suddenly this ginger is standing in front of me>

Liam: I live here next door, so i'd decided to check out my new neighbour, my name is Liam by the way

MC: Uhh...hi, i'm MC <Why is he smelling so strong like fish>

Liam: so who where you talking to?

MC: Oh uhm i was just practicing to introduce myself to the class

Liam: Aha man you're a weird dude, i like it *gives a pat on the shoulder*

MC: Don't touch me....

Liam: You know you're quite lucky that you met me, i know the school from upside down, i'll help ya to survive the place. Just do what i say and everything will be al.....

*MC walks away*

Liam: Hey don't just ignore me!!!



MC's first meeting with Kuriko (yes i have a bias for my own character)


MC: Ugh this place is starting to creep me out, but atleast i can now relax at the library.

*opens library door*

*sees two people sitting*

Kuriko: Like i said it is not good to repress something which is proven to be genetic. Homosexuality does not make you morally bad and thinking that only creates anxiety and depressi....

Guy: O my god that guy heard everything now they will all know my secret *runs away*

Kuriko: ......

Kuriko: *stares at MC with blank face* What are you doing

MC: Uhm...i was just going to read some books here

Kuriko: But i am here helping people with psychology

MC: ....But this is a library

Kuriko: So?

MC: You're not supposed to take psychology here but to read books

Kuriko: So you are saying that there is a universal law that states that it is impossible to take psychology in a library?

MC: W-wait what? I'm just saying that a library is made fo...

Kuriko: You just came to the library in hope you'd find a shy library girl to fill your harem didn't you?

Kuriko: You're so idealistic if you think those kind of girls exist outside visual novels. People like you are holding society back into a primitive state of hope and fantasy instead of accepting reality like how it is

MC: But i didn't even say i was looking for a girl

Kuriko: Hmm denial, seems like you're an interesting patient. come back here during lunch and i'll listen to your problems

MC: But i didn't even

*bell rings*

Kuriko: Well i need to go, glad you agreed to meet up during lunch for a session

*Kuriko walks out the door*

MC: .....

Thats awesome!!!! but remember MC comes to like my guy

Interesting dialogue, it was pretty easy to read.

Something regarding Kuriko seems to confuse me a bit. You stated the fact that she helps people with their troubles, which in this instance is sexual identity. This might seem nit-picking but why would they talk about it in an open library, where (The MC this time around) people can unintentionally listen in. Again this is probably unneeded of me but I just wanted to get my question across.

Jakeandhistoe wrote:Interesting dialogue, it was pretty easy to read.

Something regarding Kuriko seems to confuse me a bit. You stated the fact that she helps people with their troubles, which in this instance is sexual identity. This might seem nit-picking but why would they talk about it in an open library, where (The MC this time around) people can unintentionally listen in. Again this is probably unneeded of me but I just wanted to get my question across.

Kuriko is kind of an airhead like Rin from katawa shoujo and doesn't really pay attention to her surrounding, so because the library is normally empty at that time she'd figure she had it for herself.

Tweetyftw wrote:

Jakeandhistoe wrote:Interesting dialogue, it was pretty easy to read.

Something regarding Kuriko seems to confuse me a bit. You stated the fact that she helps people with their troubles, which in this instance is sexual identity. This might seem nit-picking but why would they talk about it in an open library, where (The MC this time around) people can unintentionally listen in. Again this is probably unneeded of me but I just wanted to get my question across.

Kuriko is kind of an airhead like Rin from katawa shoujo and doesn't really pay attention to her surrounding, so because the library is normally empty at that time she'd figure she had it for herself.

Ahh, ok then. That makes more sense. So she helps other people with their problems, but she doesn't consider the person's privacy?

Jakeandhistoe wrote:

Tweetyftw wrote:

Jakeandhistoe wrote:Interesting dialogue, it was pretty easy to read.

Something regarding Kuriko seems to confuse me a bit. You stated the fact that she helps people with their troubles, which in this instance is sexual identity. This might seem nit-picking but why would they talk about it in an open library, where (The MC this time around) people can unintentionally listen in. Again this is probably unneeded of me but I just wanted to get my question across.

Kuriko is kind of an airhead like Rin from katawa shoujo and doesn't really pay attention to her surrounding, so because the library is normally empty at that time she'd figure she had it for herself.

Ahh, ok then. That makes more sense. So she helps other people with their problems, but she doesn't consider the person's privacy?

Basicly, she doesn't really do it to help them either its just interesting to her.

Tweetyftw wrote:

Jakeandhistoe wrote:

Tweetyftw wrote:

Jakeandhistoe wrote:Interesting dialogue, it was pretty easy to read.

Something regarding Kuriko seems to confuse me a bit. You stated the fact that she helps people with their troubles, which in this instance is sexual identity. This might seem nit-picking but why would they talk about it in an open library, where (The MC this time around) people can unintentionally listen in. Again this is probably unneeded of me but I just wanted to get my question across.

Kuriko is kind of an airhead like Rin from katawa shoujo and doesn't really pay attention to her surrounding, so because the library is normally empty at that time she'd figure she had it for herself.

Ahh, ok then. That makes more sense. So she helps other people with their problems, but she doesn't consider the person's privacy?

Basicly, she doesn't really do it to help them either its just interesting to her.

So she's only in it for personal gain? That sounds like a plot point that can be evolved.

My try
MC:"great now I'm lost in the damn school I'm so hopeless."
*spots a tall figure.
MC:"wow this guy looks really calm I wonder if he can help me."
MC:excuse me?
Blonde haired-boy:Yes?
Mc:do you know where I can find Mr nagakawas class?
Blonde haired boy:In room 403?
Mc:yes.
Blonde haired boy:Go up two floors then take the first right and then the second left.
Mc:Uhh thanks... I'm MC btw what's your name?
Leal:Mhhm?Oh my name...It's leal.
MC:"Cool name!" Thanks again see you around I guess!
Leal:Yeah...Sure whatever.
qoutes=thoughts.

I'll give it a try too then I guess..


MC: Hmm I guess I'll go to the canteen to get something to eat, I'm sure they have something worth my 1000 yen.
*MC swings open the door to the canteen to see only a few people. MC glancess towards a table where a beautiful girl is sitting. She's wearing a gothic dress, but she doesn't seem to be one of those dark types at all. MC slowly approaches the girl.
*Long black-haired girl is looking down into a magazine showing models wearing all kinds of dresses with big "on sale" signs in the corner of the magazine. She looks up to see MC approach. She looks back down with a faint smile and blushes.
MC: Hey, uhm where is everyone? It seems empty right now..
Long black-haired girl: Oh eh.. you're talking to me? Well.. everyone is gone because it's far past lunchbreak, didn't you pay attention to the time? I just sit here because I like the smell of the curry..
*Long black-haired girl looks at him for a bit, then back at her magazine.
Long black-haired girl: Anything else you wanted?
*She flips each page nervously and doesn't really pay attention to the dresses anymore. He's just standing there, why didn't he leave yet? I already gave him the answer..
MC: Say, what are you looking at?
*Mc sits down next to him to look at the magazine. Long black-haired girl quickly closes the magazine.
Long black-haired girl: W-weren't you supposed to get some food.. or something?
MC: Yeah, but you see I'm new here and I'd like to get to know people a bit more!
Long black-haired girl: I-is that so? Well I'm Ashley from (some class). I'm just looking at which cute dresses I should get next..
MC: My name is MC, it's a pleasure to meet you Ashley.
Ashley: Y-yeah I guess, haha! Oh look at the time I better get going to class now..
*Ashley leaves in a hurry and leaves the magazine behind because she was in such a rush.


I've never really played a VN so please help me out if I got things wrong and stuff.. like that >-<

Tylosaurus wrote:I'll give it a try too then I guess..


MC: Hmm I guess I'll go to the canteen to get something to eat, I'm sure they have something worth my 1000 yen.
*MC swings open the door to the canteen to see only a few people. MC glancess towards a table where a beautiful girl is sitting. She's wearing a gothic dress, but she doesn't seem to be one of those dark types at all. MC slowly approaches the girl.
*Long black-haired girl is looking down into a magazine showing models wearing all kinds of dresses with big "on sale" signs in the corner of the magazine. She looks up to see MC approach. She looks back down with a faint smile and blushes.
MC: Hey, uhm where is everyone? It seems empty right now..
Long black-haired girl: Oh eh.. you're talking to me? Well.. everyone is gone because it's far past lunchbreak, didn't you pay attention to the time? I just sit here because I like the smell of the curry..
*Long black-haired girl looks at him for a bit, then back at her magazine.
Long black-haired girl: Anything else you wanted?
*She flips each page nervously and doesn't really pay attention to the dresses anymore. He's just standing there, why didn't he leave yet? I already gave him the answer..
MC: Say, what are you looking at?
*Mc sits down next to him to look at the magazine. Long black-haired girl quickly closes the magazine.
Long black-haired girl: W-weren't you supposed to get some food.. or something?
MC: Yeah, but you see I'm new here and I'd like to get to know people a bit more!
Long black-haired girl: I-is that so? Well I'm Ashley from (some class). I'm just looking at which cute dresses I should get next..
MC: My name is MC, it's a pleasure to meet you Ashley.
Ashley: Y-yeah I guess, haha! Oh look at the time I better get going to class now..
*Ashley leaves in a hurry and leaves the magazine behind because she was in such a rush.


I've never really played a VN so please help me out if I got things wrong and stuff.. like that >-<

Not bad, it was fairly easy to read. The ongoing narrative is usually from the Main Character, so when describing a scene, it would usually come out of his words.

I think I should give this a shot... but I haven't got a character of my own to do some dialogue examples as of yet.

Jakeandhistoe wrote:
Not bad, it was fairly easy to read. The ongoing narrative is usually from the Main Character, so when describing a scene, it would usually come out of his words.

I think I should give this a shot... but I haven't got a character of my own to do some dialogue examples as of yet.

Use mine if you like.

Well, if my character gets included, I'll try to think up in intro dialogue scene.

*MC, exploring the school, walks into a quiet room. Doesn't realize anyone is there until someone coughs*
MC: Whoa! I didn't even notice you there!
Black-haired boy: Hehe, yeah.
MC: What are you doing in here by yourself.
Black-haired boy: Nothing, I guess.
MC: Well you seem to be doing something. What's that in your hands?
Black-haired boy: Oh. This? Umm, well, it's a Gamegirl.
MC: I used to have one of those when I was a kid. People still play with them?
Black-haired boy:*now flustered* ONLY THE TRUE CONNOISSEURS OF GAMERS DO!!
MC: Whoa! Sorry! I didn't mean it like that!
Black-haired boy: Like what?
MC: What? Well... Wait, what?!
Black-haired boy: Honestly if you're going to trip over your own tongue like that, why bother speaking at all?
MC: What are you even talking about?!
Black-haired boy: Nothing. I'm just being fesetious. *sigh*
MC: (I don't even understand what just happened.) Alright, I guess. What's your name?
Black-haired boy: My name's Cad.
MC: Well, nice to meet you, Cad.
Cad: Yeah, you too.
MC: (This guy's off his rocker!) Well, I should get going.
Cad: Don't let the door hit ya on the way out.
MC: What?
Cad: Nothing. Seeya.
MC: Yeah, seeya. *exits*