Main story.

Alright. Here, we're going to discuss the plot for the main story. After this story, the game will branch off into routes for each character.

Once we have this, we can give it an appropriate name.

ITT it should be set out like a novel, in chapters: I have a first chapter done (really rough)

Chapter 1: New Beginnings
You are a 17/18 year old that has recently moved into a school from abroad (America to UK or something so there is no language dispute), as you move into your new house you meet your neighbor (holey) and you learn he is also at the school, he warns you about a tall boy (leal) and how he is the ringleader of the school, your neighbor the goes in and bids you farewell, after this you dwell on what he said for a while and you go to sleep. When you wake up you realize you are going to be late for your first class, as you rush out of the door with your books you turn and knock someone over, you turn around and see a tall blonde boy edging towards you (leal) with an angry look on his face, he knocks you to the floor and proceeds to beat you down. Before he can do any lasting damage someone shouts from across the street at him (tylo), you turn to see a shortish person calling for his friends (others from the SoL thread), you are unaware at this point the gender of the mysterous hero. Over the hill you see various aged people arriving to help. As they appear the tall blonde realizes he is outnumbered and runs away shouting abuse at the mystery person (tylo). The group of people who you now notice to compile of students at the school assist you up and introduce themselves (whoever wants to be in this group) and walk you to the school.

@holey
Nope nope nope nope.

I actually like the idea of Leal being a bishounen bully, considering leal has a dickish attitude and he loves being bishounen. x3

Although you don't have all character suddenly escort you at the same time. each heroine needs to be introduced seperatly to create a bond with them.

I agree with Tweety. It would be pretty sudden if you meet everyone all at once. Taking time to meet characters will lead to better development and the readers understanding of said characters.

Nope nope nope Why do I have to be asshole.

Because you do, we could expand leal further into it and maybe he isnt such a bad guy

Main Story:
You are Stephen, a hermaphroditic lamp/human hybrid who's just moved into your new home in a bustling city on Toaster Planet. All the toaster people have started to alienate you for not being a toaster but you vow to make a living on the planet. One day, you're strolling off to your new job at a coffee shop when a rogue, masked toaster with a bat hits and threatens to kill you if you don't give him all your money. Out of nowhere, a toaster woman with a gun comes along and scares the robber away. You exchange numbers and head off to work where your toaster woman boss starts making sexually suggestive jokes at your expense which you don't quite feel comfortable with, but you don't bring it up. The game spirals around the relations with either your boss or the toaster woman that saved you.

We'll call it: TOASTER LAMP FUCK FUCK

This forum is not about joking around.

Not even once?

@holey

I'm okay with that. Building on Leal is also a good idea, so we can make him seem like a pretty cool guy who doesn't afraid of anything. Maybe our MC, Leal and Holey could become a wacky trio of friends in this?

Me and leal have discussed some of the story and what we have come up with some edits, these are as follows:

When MC gets beat up, he doesnt see who did it because it is shaded, nor does he get any help but he tried to fend for himself (its still leal that does it because he is looking out for me, ill get on to this in a moment) so MC just walks to school.

When he reaches school Leal and I will be waiting there for him (During MCs walk after the beat up i explained to leal what actually happened) leal has a black eye from where MC hit him.

So yeah Leals character is actually looking after my character throughout the novel, being bandmates and all.

ill write up the first school day later

holeymoley wrote:Me and leal have discussed some of the story and what we have come up with is as follows

When MC gets beat up, he doesnt see who did it because it is shaded, nor does he get any help but he tried to fend for himself (its still leal that does it because he is looking out for me, ill get on to this in a moment) so MC just walks to school.

When he reaches school Leal and I will be waiting there for him (During MCs walk after the beat up i explained to leal what actually happened) leal has a black eye from where MC hit him.

So yeah Leals character is actually looking after my character thrughout the novel, being bandmates and all.

ill write up the first school day later

Sounds good to me!

I just thought. Does any one run to help the MC after Leal hits him?

If not, I was thinking we could introduce a character here. One of the characters with a route.

SunnyDay wrote:I just thought. Does any one run to help the MC after Leal hits him?

If not, I was thinking we could introduce a character here. One of the characters with a route.

Actually What were doing now is it's another character that hit's him (my rival as schools ace) and I'm the one to save him.

Don't you all think we should focus on working out what the VN is about? Rather than single interactions, character back stories, introductions, etc.
I understand we all want our own character in the VN, but it simply wont work the way we're going about it now. What you've done is great, but right now there's nowhere to put it, it's like trying to print without paper.
Think about it, we don't even have a theme, we should really work on the general story before we work on the in depth character interactions, a basic outline before we flesh it out.
Take what Kevin said in the Main Character discussion thread, we all liked the idea of the main character being from a gang of some sorts, couldn't we bring that out a bit? Something like the MC trying a cliché revenge type thing on the gang, attempting to work out who they are and why they hate him, befriending the characters in the process.
All in all, we should be shaping the characters around the story, not the story around the characters.

RandomGuard wrote:Don't you all think we should focus on working out what the VN is about? Rather than single interactions, character back stories, introductions, etc.
I understand we all want our own character in the VN, but it simply wont work the way we're going about it now. What you've done is great, but right now there's nowhere to put it, it's like trying to print without paper.
Think about it, we don't even have a theme, we should really work on the general story before we work on the in depth character interactions, a basic outline before we flesh it out.
Take what Kevin said in the Main Character discussion thread, we all liked the idea of the main character being from a gang of some sorts, couldn't we bring that out a bit? Something like the MC trying a cliché revenge type thing on the gang, attempting to work out who they are and why they hate him, befriending the characters in the process.
All in all, we should be shaping the characters around the story, not the story around the characters.

That gang was in his old town. He moved.

Chapter 1 V2

You are a 18 year old that has recently moved into a school from abroad (to Japan), as you move into your new house you meet your neighbor (Liam) and you learn he is also at the school, he warns you about a short muscular boy who hangs out around the route to school, your neighbor then goes in and bids you farewell, after this you dwell on what he said for a while and you go to sleep. When you wake up you realize you are going to be late for your first class, as you rush out of the door with your books you turn and bump into someone in a shady alley (you tried to take a shortcut that you were told of), you turn around and see a dark figure edging towards you, he knocks you to the floor and proceeds to beat you down. Before he can do any lasting damage someone shouts from across the street at him, you turn to see Liam calling for his friend (Leal) at this point you see a tall blonde boy run down the street at lightning pace after the figure who you now see wearing a school uniform, as the bully turns around the blonde boy delivers a kick to the face. At this point you are liftedup by Liam and carried to school, by this point the blonde boy is gone.

That gang was in his old town. He moved.

You're kinda missing the point here, we need a theme, something that's going to happen.
His cat got kitnapped, he wants revenge.
Someone made his electricity bill larger than it should be, he wants to find out why.
A gang scarred him for life, he wants to work out why with support from a new group of happy people.

RandomGuard wrote:

That gang was in his old town. He moved.

You're kinda missing the point here, we need a theme, something that's going to happen.
His cat got kitnapped, he wants revenge.
Someone made his electricity bill larger than it should be, he wants to find out why.
A gang scarred him for life, he wants to work out why with support from a new group of happy people.

Well we can't just start with that when he's meeting people.
It can't be like oh hi I'm running away from the mafia that want's to kill me.

RandomGuard wrote:
A gang scarred him for life, he wants to work out why with support from a new group of happy people.

I FUCKING LOVE THIS, the gang could track him to japan and there could be a mojor fight at the end of act 1 after they confront his new friends

Usui wrote:Well we can't just start with that when he's meeting people.
It can't be like oh hi I'm running away from the mafia that want's to kill me.

That's the problem, we're starting but we don't know where we're going, like I said, we're shaping the story around the characters.
If we get a trend of what's going to happen, some plot points, a twist, then we can make the interactions more realistic.

I FUCKING LOVE THIS, the gang could track him to japan and there could be a mojor fight at the end of act 1 after they confront his new friends

Great, then people start off distanced from him, they're scared of him because of this, it'd be a fight to make friends in itself.

ITT WE START AT THE BEGINNING weird i know...

so i was thinking we start with a black screen with plane noises in the background to show he is in a plane, a graphic saying "SoL SOFTWARE PRESENTS" fades in then out again, then the black fades to the inside of a plane and the logo fades onto screen too then fades out after 5 seconds? we cut to a shot of the plane flying through the air from different angles as our usernames are displayed with the jobs we did (we will work that out at the end) whilst some music plays (not sure which track yet). As the plane lands our MC must go through customs (this is where sunny's name choice idea would come in if we are gonna do that) and then into a taxi, when they step out of the taxi is when MC is greeted by Liam after his parents go inside.

holeymoley wrote:ITT WE START AT THE BEGINNING weird i know...

so i was thinking we start with a black screen with plane noises in the background to show he is in a plane, a graphic saying "SoL SOFTWARE PRESENTS" fades in then out again, then the black fades to the inside of a plane and the logo fades onto screen too then fades out after 5 seconds? we cut to a shot of the plane flying through the air from different angles as our usernames are displayed with the jobs we did (we will work that out at the end) whilst some music plays (not sure which track yet). As the plane lands our MC must go through customs (this is where sunny's name choice idea would come in if we are gonna do that) and then into a taxi, when they step out of the taxi is when MC is greeted by Liam after his parents go inside.

This surprised me. Take a look at mt new topic in the coding section. I think you'll be pretty surprised too. Since we both had similar ideas.

SunnyDay wrote:
This surprised me. Take a look at my new topic in the coding section. I think you'll be pretty surprised too. Since we both had similar ideas.

That is pretty cool, so his name is michael?